The less said about flying cattle class, even Air NZ, the better. It is all well and good sometimes but Ecomony is just not made for two grown men to sit next to each other, especially when they have the combined aches and pains we do right now. And DON'T get me started on retard travellers and their insistence on the most flipping ridiculously oversized carry-on... Many many swear words. Especially when they can't even flipping lift it into the overhead themselves... Although watching old ladies hit each other in the head with oversized luggage is pretty funny. And I did watch a pretty good horror I have meant to see for a while 'The Conjuring' which is based on a true story.
ANYWAY that's by the by... Oh my word the disclaimers on American TV ads are hilarious... The medical disclaimer for some stop smoking product is 3/4 of the whole ad...
So ANYWAY.... Ok warm and sunny on arrival, LAX is still a bit of a hole, US Customs is hilariously stereotypical (we had awesome stereotype greaser Italian dude with magnificently sculpted hairdo... Pretty efficient questioning though... NZ could learn a thing...). Waiting for bags took an age, then we jumped on the right bus from the constant merry-go-round of shuttles circling the airport and got taken to the rental car place... Which I immediately recognised as the same rental car place dad and I rolled into when we got to America 20 years ago (to the month even?). Hanny the ruthlessly effiecient and morbidly obese Mexican who served us immediately sensed weakness when he made the comment "Oh sir I see you have booked a compact car, this will not do for all the driving you have planned..." And then launched into a brutal and relentless sales pitch which involved upsizing and upgrading and cross-charging and discounting and rediscounting, all the while badgering other sales reps, most of whom were also left seemingly helpless as he mocked their inefficiency and told them he was taking the cars they were already signing off to other customers to give them to us instead... SO, after booking a compact but probably considering an upgrade to a mid-size sedan, then this happened...
So yes, yes we are driving around the western US in a white V8 Dodge Challenger... And for those of you who don't know the significance of a stark white Dodge Challenger I suggest you get right with the world and find out before I ever speak to you again!!!!
We made our way across the sea of concrete which is LA, me driving and trying to get the hang of the whole wrong side thing again in rush hour traffic, and found our motel (the 'Budget' in the name should have been a major hint what to expect - think freeway off ramp... random banging on walls... Etc) and then decided to go get some supplies in a neighbourhood which proved quickly to be majority Asian, except the parts that are Mexican... We found a Walgreens which is basically a convenience store mated to a pharmacy, that didn't help much... Then drove around some more before finding a massive Asian supermarket... which proved to be an eye-opener (and nose offender) for my companion, but did at least provide some bread, fresh produce etc for meals on the go... And some hilarity in trying to find the things we wanted in a market that would have done anywhere in Asian proud.
After that we retreated to the motel for traditional local refreshments I obtained
Before heading to a nearby dining establishment for a decent meal...
... Because I am determined to once again soak up every bit of awful that America can throw at me (food-wise anyway)
By then it was dark, and with no real attractions identified in the area we decided to call it a day and my companion was very quickly catching up on some well earned sleep.
So it is that I am entertaining myself with more waffling.. But we have sorted a route for tomorrow and will head off first thing to our next stop, via a long and very unnecessary but very cool diversion...
I should quickly say thanks to the kind people who have tech-enabled me enough to make this possible yet again with gifts and loans and then the education to be enable me to use it (poorly)... This long and boring passage of my blogging is hereby dedicated to you, may the world forgive you. One day.
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