Wednesday, October 1, 2014

The lighter side of Malaysia Airlines...

You may think I was about to make some jokes in poor taste there about certain events, but I am not. I am in fact talking about the way that Malaysia Airlines make flying fun again and are a joy to travel with. Oh no wait, that is not actually even remotely accurate. More on THAT later. But we did find humour in a couple of things on our travels from home a couple of weeks ago that I have just now remembered to write down. 

At one stage, having exhausted all the interesting options on their 1980's entertainment system in less than one flight (doesn't THAT bode well for the several other long LONG flights still to come!!?), I ended up watching several episodes of some American show call 'The 100' (is this still a thing? Was it ever? I never heard of it... But then I never heard of a lot of things). Anyway I figured five episodes at forty minutes each might take up some of the endless days I had to sit on the plane... So I found 'The 100' is about people 150 years or something like that in the future when Earth has been ravaged by nuclear war and the only people live on a space station (called The Ark... Clever!!) but The Ark is running out of air and other such things so they send 100 teen (of course!.. Oh wait, did I mention it is 'Based on a book'!!!) convicts down to see if Earth is inhabitable (Really? That's the best they can do? They live on a space station!!! In space!!!)... And, without giving too much away, of course they land in a forest, because clearly they blew the set budget on the space station, and then they have to explore and they get a bit 'Lord of the Flies' and there are mysterious bunkers and a weird killer fog (hmm, sound familiar?) and mutants and (spoiler!) survivors, and intrigue and drama on a earth and in space. Oh and lots of crap writing and bad acting. And the main characters are the privileged, good, smart, practical blonde girl who wants to help everyone and be civilised, and her opposite, the wild, sorta ethnic looking, wrong-side-of-the-tracks badboy with a chip on his shoulder who wants the group to live with no rules but who is really sensitive and complex and looks like Lou Diamond Phillips. And his sister who is the free spirited younger dark haired badgirl one who really just wants to be loved by some nice guy. And the black guy who is the banished son of the boss guy on The Ark (how did he end up a convict again??) and might almost be a love interest for blondy cause they were best friends but she hates him cause he got her father executed for trying to reveal the truth about The Ark dying. But black guy dies later anyway. Oops sorry. And then there is the Asian who is good at electronics. And the endearing geek who is really a hero. And the bad-looking guy who is second in charge to sort-of-not-really-bad-guy Lou Diamond Phillips, but SURPRISE is actually the real bad guy, which you kind of guess cause he looks bad all the time. Oh and then to complicate the various love triangles there is also the 'reckless' other sort-of-badboy who just runs around being all teenage and reckless and stuff, but looks like a forty year old Johnny Depp/Jack White wannabe. Actually he also looks kind of like Peter DeLuise which makes him a bit incestuously 21 Jump Street somehow now I think about it. Oh and then later there is another sassy smart space walking welder super-technician brown chick called.... Raven! And she also gets involved in the love hexagon. Ah yes. Way to phone that one in whatever TV network was responsibe for it. So anyway I could have written a book on the number of plot holes and flaws in the thing (why do the survivors use spears? 100 years after a global war all the bullets have run out??) but motivation to pay further attention, or even live longer, was running short by then. Thankyou for flying Malaysia Airlines. 

Eventually, while pondering what a blood clot to the brain might feel like,  I found my way into the games section and the Malaysia Airlines quiz game. Witness now some of the educational gems that lie therein.... Play along at home!!

Q. What religion is practised by 83% of the people in India.

  1) Buddhism 
  2) Hinduism 
  3) Islam
  4) Christianism

Did you think it was number 4? Or perhaps some other religion, like Mormanity or Scientologilising? Lucky those Christianismologists are so tolerant... 

Ok, let's try again... How about another one that won't possibly offend anyone

Q. What is the name of the wall where Israeli Jews come and lament over their destroyed country?

  1) The Oliver Wall
  2) The Wall of Tears
  3) The Wall of Shame
  4) The Wailing Wall

Get that one? Ah those funny Jews and their shameful love of walls. Ok next round -

Q. What is the name of the black New York area, north of Manhatten?

  1) The Bronx
  2) The Queens
  3) Harlem
  4) Brooklyn

You know, the BLACK area.. Not because of their love of emo house colours, but because it has all them BLACKS in it. Did you perhaps guess number 2), that parts of New York are in fact full of homosexual coloured people? Ah The Queens, those charming gay black folks...

Ok for the bonus round let's move on from all that fun we had offending people religiously and racially and re their lifestyle choices and go into the entertainment round. Now here's one that I had to think about -

Q. What kind of creature is 'Chewbacca' in 'Star Wars'?

  1) A mutant
  2) A robot
  3) A monkey
  4) A monster

The answer is of course E) 'What the hell are you people talking about?'. (Everyone knows Chewbacca was not any of those things right? Ok, apart from those of you going "What's a Chewbacca?")

And there ends our quiz, I hope we all had fun, and learned something too, cause learning is unportant. And in some way I hope this also helped us to understand a little bit more about people who are different from us, like all those weird different foreign types out there, like Christians and Blacks and Jews and Mutant Robot Monkey Monsters. Which, at the end of the day, are all kind of the same thing really. But maybe, just maybe, deep down, we are all a little bit Mutant Robot Monkey Monster...


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