Bakersfield is probably famous for some things...

...none spring instantly to mind... Saturday was actually the one day of the trip thusfar I would describe as a bit of a nothing day, we tried to shop a bit and do those sorts of travel things we are desperately not good at, mostly failing. We tried to buy some car parts which again proved elusive. We drove around Bakersfield a bit and by the time we were done and it was time to find the next town, it was actually late afternoon. Since we were really just avoiding LA we decided there wasn't much point going further afield for no reason, and we may as well stay put. If order to make up for the additional and exorbitant money ($12 or so) spent on accom the night before we looked around and checked in to another... I will be charitable here and say 'less reputable' establishment near the southern freeway... Actually there was nothing majorly wrong with the place really, just the clientele once again...

So that makes for a pretty boring story so I should really take the opportunity to have a rant about something or other... What else has America done lately.... Ok, food - 

Wins -

- Twinkies are still Twinkies... Bless... The big bags of Hostess mini donuts are also approved...

- Bacon jerky

- Carls Jr... Actually a win... Caramel and sea salt shakes, hells yeah... Philly cheesesteak burgers and having Mexican food in some outlets, also win

- Taco Bell, winning on variety... However... What is up with that pathetic 'hot' sauce?? The hottest one of the four on offer is still lame as all hell!

- In N Out Burger, which we finally made it to in Bakersfield... Still so good. Note: I didn't realise this and didn't get to try it, but you can order onion fries, and they melt cheese all over your fries and then cover them in cooked onion and their special burger sauce... Looked SO good

- Old fashioned lemonade, always good

- FatBurger... Terribly, badly good

Fails -

- McDonald's, Burger King (except for cool drinks machine), Pizza Hut... Boring as hell... No exotic overseas selections on the menu

- American Asian food

- hot American coffee

- cold American coffee and the lack thereof

- every gas station only having Starbucks bottled cold coffee... This is a Starbucks-free trip, which usually means going without altogether... Which is not easy

- American steak... Including the Outback Steakhouse (Australian themed anything - fail) you see everywhere... Steak is not meant to be skin-coloured inside and out and completely flavourless, I don't give a crap how supposedly tender it is... If I wanted tender and crap tasting I would eat tofu... Outback is passable I guess, if you are hanging out, but compared to home... Meh

- American beer.... Could it BE any worse????

- American dairy, obviously

Judgement Reserved - 

- Arby's... Undecided... Different... Maybe good, would need more

Health-wise of course American food is just appalling but that goes without saying. And there are still heeeeaps of franchises I have not yet made it to, annoyingly. Some are harder to find when you want them. At this rate will need to plan another trip just to eat more. 

What else can I rip on.... Oh yeah, tattoos!! Once upon a time in America, like most places, tattoos were kind of edgy and alternative. Even when they were common as back home, over here tattoos were still a little bit out-there for a lot of people... Now, probably thanks to recent TV, they are common as dirt. Every soccer mom and hipster and obese hillbilly has a bunch. Whole families are all tatted up... Now you guys know how much I love good tattoos, and I guess everyone thinks theirs is 'good' and unique and special, but bad tattoo spotting is pretty much a full time pastime around here. Annoying. 

Not being able to bring guns home sucks!! Nuff said.

That's all that springs to mind just now... There will be more to break down before the end no doubt...

Alright so I'm on Johnson Avenue in San Luis Obispo and...

... I told you about that yesterday. And then it was Friday the 2nd I think... We in fact left SLO (which is a great acronym for a town right? They all just call it SLO... Kind of suits it, it's chilled out) and went back up north a bit via a different route to Paso Robles, where we had noted a car and plane collection... The Estrella collection is pretty cool, and apparently they have a big wings and wheels show coming up. They had some nice static jet-era planes and military vehicles which were pretty cool but static (non flying) planes are never quite the same to me, it's like looking at replicas... Or stuffed animals as opposed to live ones.. 

The car collection which took up nearby sheds was cool, your usual local rich guy sharing his collection with the world, although this guy spent much of his money on racing cars, primarily NASCAR and dirt track and stock cars, along with some nice vintage stuff. A lot of the race cars were possibly a bit lost on me as I have never been much into American racing series... But still cool to see. 

            

                                

We were sufficiently impressed and made our way south again, swinging back into SLO for gas and a bite to eat, and found the swanky part of town, which is, in fact, all of downtown. Like many of the coastal areas SLO was apparently once sparsely populated and a bit of a hippy town in the bush. These days like many others it seems fed by tourists, vineyards and market gardening/orchards and by the looks of things is pretty well off. We got a milkshake for lunch and trucked on again... Faced with increasingly busy roads and uber-touristy or swank beach spots down the coast nearing LA, we struck out towards Bakersfield for a look around. Driving inland was quickly starkly drier than the fertile and well irrigated coast

We got on to Bakersfield and found a Quality inn which was a step up from some recent places and both being a bit tired and not having seem any cheap options in our lap around town decided to splash out a little... I was glad of this as the junk diet had apparently decided to finally catch up on me, and my body had decided to say a loud and clear "No" the night before and started to throw random rolling stomach pains at me... I was tired and sore and glad to lie down. I guess it was only a matter of time given that what I have been eating for every meal the last few weeks is essentially the exact polar opposite of my diet at home... I hope eating healthy hasn't ruined me for travelling from now on!! We shall see. Trying to be a trooper and truck on regardless I did head over to Denny's and destroy a (terrible, sandy coloured) American steak (say no to feedlots... One thing I do agree is wrong... that and grain feeding makes for appalling beef) and veges, but more stabs to the gut made me regret that also. With that, it was time to stop being a wuss get some sleep.

Another pilgrimage, like Graceland, but better...

So, much more catching up. I missed updating last night due to being killed by American food, but more on that later.

San Fran is where we left off, we awoke not thoroughly murdered again and rose to do a bit of shopping... We headed to Best Buy again, as you do, and looked at many cheap things. Then I successfully navigated us back into Central (my nav is back up to a decent standard again, seems the first couple of days threw me off a little, moon must have been in the wrong place or something), and we undertook a mini-pilgrimage of sorts as I went to the official original Upper Playground store.. Which won't mean anything really but suffice to say it's a clothing label I like and they support a lot of cool artists. 

From there we were back underway again, heading south on the 101 to Santa Cruz, which we did a lap of and decided seemed nice enough... Then we left. South still more, we finally hit the old Highway 1 heading down the coast, and soon made it to Monterey... From here, much as the towns of North Cali are the snow and forest playground, the track down Highway 1 is the coastal playground. All the towns are scenic and pretty, catering to the rich beachhouse and holiday home owners and the unwitting tourists ripe to be trapped... Also obviously infested by some of the approximately 584.3 million immense road-ship Winnebago motor homes which infest Merka like ticks on the backs of the vastly obese geriatric folk who sail them... 

Oops not sure where that came from... Anyway, yes, Monterey pretty, beachfront boardwalk and old fashioned kind of carnival area with rides and such... Leaving there I turned the nose of the Challenger southward toward the cliff-hugging coastal road beckoning not far away... And got stuck in traffic for an hour. Really. THEN we got to the coast road which was beautiful, and I got stuck behind a dick in a new 4x4. Who was doing about 20 the whole way. And not pulling over. With no passing lanes. In fact a whole bunch of us got stuck behind him, for about 45 minutes, until I finally tired of tailgating him with my high beams on, and passed him illegally on a double yellow, as did several other people. I hope he drove off the edge. Americans as a rule are pretty good at getting out of the way of faster cars, except apparently in California, where I got stuck behind several. And as much as I don't subscribe to stereotyping of any sort, I have been taking note, and it is ALWAYS chicks in the fast lane blocking traffic no not getting out of the freaking way.... ANYWAY... Once past d-bag in the coast road we were away and funnily enough the road ahead was empty, because he had been blocking it so long. From there it was a lot of fun... Photos courtesy of my copilot, who is getting pretty good with my camera...

     

                                                          

        

                                                            

       

I could go on with photos but I won't... If there is one thing that Americans do know, it's how to make a road. Anywhere. Usually cut through solid rock, or hanging off a cliff.  Or both. 

The second part of the pilgrimage also happened along the way as we passed through Big Sur... A name you might know if you anything of Henry Miller or one of my personal favourites, Jack Kerouac. The whole area has been known since the early days of America as one of the most beautiful and inspiring places on the continent, and you can see why. Apart from the masses of Americans who now flock there for some peace and solitude... 

It was late again by the time we started looking for a motel, gas was running a bit low... We intentionally drove on beyond all the beachy tourist traps for fear of the motel prices, and I was quietly stoked when we pulled in to an oddly named little town which will not mean anything to anyone, but means a great deal to me... The relevance held only (as far as I know) in the song lyric "Alright I'm on Johnson Avenue in San Luis Obispo and I'm five years old or six maybe..."... For the (often really quite unfortunate) events that occurred in the little California community of San Luis Obispo were fundamental in shaping the life of our friend John Darnielle from The Mountain Goats. And yes, obviously I found Johnson Avenue in the morning, and drove end to end. More on the town in tomorrow's instalment though. We then found a nice-enough motel next to the freeway (sensing a theme here?) with another lobby smelling strongly of curry and staffed by another Indian lady, and settled in for the night. We had driven through the forecourt of the place over the road first, which I decided looked as little substandard, and no sooner did we get into our room in the other place than we were entertained by police, fire and ambulance screaming into the parking lot of the other motel with sirens blaring. Not sure what we missed out on, but never mind... And that was the coast.

Hot weather and not being murdered...

... Greeted us again on the last morning of April. Which was nice. I don't know how much has made the news there but the US is going through some crazy crazy weather at the moment, huge flash floods in Florida, tornadoes killing bunches of folks in the middle, record temps and wildfires over this side. 

Having pre-booked tickets to Alcatraz (an essential if you ever loan to do it, book in advance... Also note only one ferry actually goes TO Alcatraz, though others offer 'Alcatraz Cruises', but they just go past...) we wandered down the street to the train station and sure enough one came along (the stop is actually the last one on the line) and for two bucks a piece we rode all the way into town from Daly City... granted it passed through some interesting neighbourhoods and the mix of passengers was... Eclectic... Including the mandatory batshit crazy (or totally tripping) homeless guy talking loudly to himself and darting around the carriage erratically... But you get that anywhere when you are staying on the outskirts. 

The Third Street line took us reasonably close to the wharves which is tourist central for SF, and a walk of about 20 minutes got use down to the tourist piers covered in shops and food places etc. We wandered a bit and grabbed a thick shake and ice cream respectively while killing time, then went and got in the queue to board at midday. It was my second trip to Alctraz but it's still pretty cool, with all the mystique that the place carries. We started off hooking onto a tour led by a young Park Ranger all dressed up like he was looking for Yogi but with your standard hipster beard, he seemed to know a lot but talked so fast you could only catch about three words per sentence... We gave up on that and went up to the cell house and donned headphones.. The audio tour is actually really good and free when you get there, guards and former inmates talk you through and tell stories as you walk around. 

I didn't go overboard on photos this time around due to the number I took running around on my own last time...

                                

          

It's a pretty interesting and mildly creepy sort of place, would love to stay on the island overnight and get a feel for it without a million tourists around. 

After a good wander we caught the boat back and grabbed an early dinner of the famous SF clam chowder in a bread bowl down at Fisherman's Grotto. After a long hot day we were glad to get hold of a couple of cold beers.. Until we tried to drink them... My word American beer is still appalling, and these were supposedly 'craft' beers. Tasted like someone had rinsed out some old beer jugs and then bottled it. 

The trip back on the train around dusk proved even more entertaining when the same crazy-eyed black homeless guy go onto the fairly crowded carriage we were in and proceeded to sit down next to us and rant loudly to himself in a variety of voices, along with making the sound effects to go with his story, busting out in hysterical laugher for no reason, pretending to shoot fellow passengers with his finger, etc. Every so often he picked someone in the carriage to bark unintelligible comments to, or possibly he was just talking to imaginary friends who happened to be in their general direction.... The net result was half the people in the carriage ended up completely weirded out by his antics, which also included taking offence at some rubbish left on the floor under a seat, which he spotted, leapt up and lunged at suddenly, much to the delight of the people sitting on the seats, who thought he was diving to attack them... They scrambled to get their legs out of the way as he grabbed the bits of trash and then blocked the door open at the next stop so he could thrown them out..

Once back I decided I required more beer, and set out to find a gas station selling some (yes, they do that here) which proved more difficult than expected... Finally after a decent tiki tour around random parts of San Fran I got some Bud, which, depressingly, is still the best American beer you can usually find anywhere, and retired to the motel... Thus ended that day, and once again I am due for sleep after a long day today... More to follow. 

Procrasination... Down to San Fran

I am pretty sure a lot of things annoyed me that I was going to rant about this time around, but I am a bit weary now...

Yesterday was Tuesday, I don't remember what happened... Oh wait yes I do... I think I left you at Philly  Cheesesteak... Who was doubting the awesomeness of cheesesteak a while ago?? You know who you are... Shame... 

I just went to download photos off my camera and for a minute I thought I had formatted my card this morning without getting the photos off it... That would be not a good thing. I spent an entire day in Ottowa once taking amazing photos and ran out of memory cards and went into a camera place to get a card downloaded to disc so I could keep shooting,... When I got back home I found they had screwed up the download and I had lost the lot, somewhat traumatic given they would have been incredible,,, sunset over the river, first flakes of snow falling... The only time I have ever been anywhere when the first snow of winter fell... Actually the first flake of winter hit me in the eye, just came plummeting out of the sky and hit me straight in the right eyeball... Didn't know what it was, thought I had been blinded then realised whatever it was magically disappeared... Confusing... Anyway... That's not even this trip... 

Tuesday we did the quick trip into Sacramento and found the old town nice and easy. Being a weekdays morning we even parked on the street at a meter with no issues.. Loving it. Old Sacramento is a bit of a re-creation village with restored historic buildings and a train station along with heaps of tourist trap souvenir shops, cafés etc. We bee-lined straight to the California Raliway Museum to indulge our passion for heavy metal. Needless to say it was cool, while all the old, early steam engines that tamed the west are nice and all...

                  

                                                 

 for me it is pretty hard to beat something from a slightly later steam period, the oil burners... This little beauty weighs more than two jumbo jets...

                   

Which is awesome but THIS wee darling... (Look at her... Isn't she adorable?)

                                           

Weighs more than EIGHT jumbo jets... Yep... What a cutey...

                        

If I had a garage big enough...

Anyway, we spent a while after that looking at the rest of the historic stuff around the place, and by the time we were done and and had had as quick drive around the city (green, nice) time was getting on and we headed towards San Fran. Not knowing earlier if we were heading there direct or not, I had not done any accommodation research, which is not necessary in smaller places but can be advisable in big cities... So we ended up driving around a fair bit with not much luck, before I headed over the hill to Pacifica and pulled us in to a McDonald's to grab some wifi. Searching with little joy while we ate tea, I finally miraculously somehow found a place in Daly City which was reasonable, had vacancies, and even more amazingly was on the city rail route to downtown... I booked it on the spot and we headed over, and sure enough it was nice (enough)... Almost too good to be true.. If we don't get murdered in our sleep I will probably recommend it, because it is flipping hard to find cheap accom in SF that also has good public transport to the important places nearby... 

I am sure there were several other things I was going to rant about from yesterday, the benefit to you of me writing everything a day later is I have forgotten half the things that were grinding my gears then because other things have annoyed me today... Which I will mostly forget by tomorrow. So count your blessings, unless I remember anything else tonight, this might be all you get...