Gall i gael cwrw os gwelwch yn dda...
Three nights in Wales passed far too quickly, but we managed to pack in some traditional Welsh activities such as drinking beer, walking on cliffs, and outlet mall shopping. Our time was spent mostly in and around ridiculously picture-postcard cute and idyllic Welsh villages such as Newport and Fishguard. These are obviously not the Welsh names for them though, as they are, naturally, entirely unpronounceable. I mean honestly Wales, a word with seven consonants and one vowel is not a word.
The scenery was nothing short of beautiful in places, although you could easily imagine that the wonderful weather we had on days three and four was possibly not the way things look all year round. The coast was once home to many hardy fishermen, and I am guessing it was not the place to come for an easy living during winter months...
So overall as you have probably gathered impressions of the UK are pretty good so far. Most things remain very familiar and I can see why so many people from home come here to stay and why so many from here like it over our way. Despite the traditional stereotypes there is plenty of good food here, SOME good beer, and the people are mostly decent folk. Some issues do exist though... I mean for starters, the cars are pretty rubbish. Granted most people drive pretty decent cars here, it seems prices are cheap enough that most people have a pretty late model set of wheels. That being said, you don't see many nice ones. Ok there are BMWs and Audis by the million, but most are pretty bland lower or middle models. Thus far in the entire trip I think I have seen only one Ferrari on the road, in London, one TVR, one M3, a couple of old MGs, a single Morgan.... I mean Poms are supposed to be car lovers like the rest of us right? Ok I saw one later model MG also, it was a bright yellow four door with a ridiculous big wing on the back and big MG stickers on it... I think it was supposed to be a 'performance model'... It was hard to tell while I was overtaking it in the world's slowest most rubbish Vauxhall...
Oh yeah and about overtaking.... They apparently don't believe in it here... Seriously these people will sit in an endlessly long procession of vehicles behind a slow moving truck for days. Possibly due to refined English sensibilities it is considered 'rude', I am not sure. Granted it can be a tricky proposition when the roads are so narrow and winding... Especially in an asthmatic Astra which makes all overtaking a dice with death. After being on the road for a while I turned to my copilot and asked if they actually had passing lanes in this county. She replied "Yes, of course we do..." I commented that I hadn't seen one since we left London and she came back with "Well we have only been driving for a couple of days..." ... My mistake then...
So clearly passing anything on a road which may, one day, at some stage, have oncoming traffic is completely out of the question for most Brits. But then give them a two or more lane motorway and suddenly half of them want to be doing 100mph. Literally. And then we get on to proving the stereotypes we already know so well (although these OBVIOUSLY don't apply at home...*cough*) but as confirmed by Top Gear: Most late model German Car drivers - dicks. Van drivers - dicks. Drivers of Ford Focuses, small Peugots, medium Peugots, large Peugots, Citroens, Volvos, Minis - dicks. Range Rover drivers - dicks. Actually I think you can pick personalities by cars over here more so than at home, as I do know people who drive some of the above at home who are actually not complete dicks. But some of them also are.
I do hate to cast aspersions on my host nation but I do think the driving standards here are a bit worse. Ok maybe if you don't count certain cultural demographics back in my home city. The cyclists here are even more mentally deficient and suicidal. Although when we left, London was hosting a massive event for the start of the Tour of UK cycle race or whatever it is called and I thought 'How nice, seeing them embracing diversity and alternative sexual life choices like that'... Truck drivers here seem to regard other motorists primarily as an annoyance which they can bully or ignore, I assume most of them had fairly unpleasant childhoods and suffered from pants wetting until their mid teens. Vans are frequently driven by people too poor or too mentally incapacitated to be able to get hold of a truck. Who probably stole them. I am not sure what to make of the various guys I have seen riding around on Harleys... I mean it may seem to them like the ultimate in rebellion (being stuck in the 1980s and all) but the reality is that they are so ridiculously out of place here that they look even more desperately try-hard and lame than they do in most other countries. Same goes for the handful of people I have also seen driving around in new Dodge and Jeep 4x4s and the like... I mean really? What is up with that? Trying to prove your individuality by standing out as far more stupid than all those around you? What image are you trying to convey by spending more money on a worse car?
And what the HELL is the British obsession with roundabouts?? Really?? You can drive for hours literally from one roundabout to the next. You get off a roundabout and there is a sign for the next roundabout. I am not joking. And this is not just in town, this is out in the country, on roads that you are trying to use to get from one location to another. If you have satnav, you are on a roundabout and it is going "Take the second exit on this roundabout... In 200 metres, at the next roundabout..." I think we actually found the ultimate today, in a double roundabout. Literally a figure-8 roundabout. I still haven't yet figured out how it was supposed to work, I just gritted my teeth and went for the far side...
Anyway I will stop slagging off my fellow motorists and Brit driving in general for now. I would possibly be less bitter if it wasn't for our rubbish hire car provided by our rubbish car hire company. More slagging off of them to come. Time here is ticking along quickly but we are having a good time, certainly finding many, many more things that are going on the list for next time I get here. Stay well all, more soon
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